Goodbye to you, Twenty-Two.
A birthday always marks the end of an age that closes off a segment of your life you'll never return to and introduces a numerical year that awaits new hardships, new beginnings, new memories- everything is raw, bare, and fairly new. I guess that's where I find myself this birthday: falling deeply madly in love with the newness in my life.
Twenty-two marked one of the hardest years for me yet one of the most exciting- go figure!? I learned that everything in its ironic 22 year old form always comes in twos. With joy comes true sadness, with love comes unexpected heartbreak, with highs comes unwanted lows, and with tears always comes a big box of tissues & a sappy chick flick- trust me, it's routine.
I embodied the mere essence of feeling too much and saying too little, expecting the best and settling for good enough, giving and not getting, talking but not being understood, and listening but not understanding. I was my happiest and my saddest all in one canvas of splattered emotional hues. I saw both sides of the spectrum- both wholely and solely, me. I studied and applied my strengths and was introduced to my own weaknesses. I was loved then hated, sometimes missed and moments later forgotten- simply because that's just how it goes.
You're suppose to feel too much to know what's too little. You're suppose to fail to then cherish great success. You're suppose to fall in and out of love again and again- and again once more. Life is one big rollercoaster, why not enjoy the ride?
My ride has led me to my first apartment, my first big girl job, and now my first son. I've checked off a lot of firsts thus far in my life that are forever engraved in my journey- wherever it is I'm going, but with these firsts came tons of mistakes, plenty of tears, and too many moments of wanting to give up to count in one hand. Today I sit here with peace in my heart knowing- it is and will always be okay.
That being said- here's to my new canvas, my first blank page. To fewer mistakes and bigger lessons, to living and not just being alive. To family. To happiness. To love- indebted solely to you, twenty-three. [*blows out birthday candles*]
The Birthday Girl